Mavis Klein

Out of my 35 years experience as an individual and family therapist I have developed a theory of personality types and their interactions with each other that applies to individuals, nations - and even domesticated animals!

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In Defence of Typologies

Questionnaire

In Defence of Typologies

Categorizing is the primary function of our brains. People are piqued by being categorized because it discounts their exceptional characteristics, in which most people take such pride. Nevertheless, the two most interesting observations that can be made about people are their samenesses and their differences. 'It's a girl' or 'It's a boy' is the first observation ever made about any human being, and many other dichotomous characterizations by which we describe people and the world derive from this basic category of gender.

How far we go in refining our categorization of a person depends on context. 'Man' is sufficient in the context of public lavatories; female, teenager, size 10' to a clothes manufacturer; 'intelligent, moderate socialist' for a trade union election. We know more about our friends, and want to know and describe a beloved down to the tiniest freckle of his or her physical and psychological being.

Categoriizing ourselves and others by constructs that are appropriately deep and comprehensive enlarges our awareness of the samenesses and differences between people. And for the price of foregoing some of our narcissistic allegiance to our intrinsic uniqueness, we gain corresponding diminishment of shame for our shortcomings, which we can now accept as 'only human'. Unless we categorize people, we implicitly assume all our characteristics to be the human norm and we discount people who are unlike us.

Categorizing ourselves and others psychologically helps us to bring out the most and the best rather than the worst and the least in ourselves and others. Understanding the dynamic meaning of our own type in relation to the known type of another individual enables us to please that individual with finesse, if we so desire, and most effectively defend our vulnerabilities against the assaults of that individual, if the need arises.

Questionnaire

Here is a questionnaire that will enable you to discover the basic type and types of your own personality. There are five basic types, which are the ways in which our egos defend themselves against pain. To the extent that we are all human, they are each in all of us; to the extent that we are all different, they are variously arranged hierarchically and combined in our personalities.

It is quite likely that you will find some of each of the types in your own personality, but most people find two types quite clearly predominate in their lives.

Answer yes or no - as quickly and spontaneously as possible - to each question. If you find it impossible to decide one way or the other, choose 'Unsure'.

Following the questionnaire is a scoring key and a brief description of the 5 basic types. For an elaboration of the nature of the types, their 10 paired combinations, and their 15 possible interactions in interpersonal relationships, see my books, Live Issues and Pain and Joy in Intimate Relationships.

This material is copyright. Contact me for permission to use it appropriately.

1. Are you an only or youngest child or separated by more than six years from your nearest-born sibling?
   Yes, No, Unsure
2. When things go wrong do you tend to feel guilty?
   Yes, No, Unsure
3. Do you quite often feel a failure?
   Yes, No, Unsure
4. Do you have special little rules for organizing your daily life - like writing lists of tasks to be done, or always performing set tasks in a set way at a regular time - that prevent you from becoming anxious?
   Yes, No, Unsure
5. Do you quite often feel life is futile?
   Yes, No, Unsure
6. Were either of your parents Roman Catholic or Jewish (even if 'unobservant') or committed worshippers of any other faith?
   Yes, No, Unsure
7. Were you separated from your parents before you were six, for example by being hospitalized or fostered or looked after by a relative while your parents were away?
   Yes, No, Unsure
8. Did either of your parents have ambitions they were prevented from fulfilling through lack of opportunity?
   Yes, No, Unsure
9. Do you quite often feel you would like to get closer to people than you dare to?
   Yes, No, Unsure
10. Do you tend to procrastinate a lot?
    Yes, No, Unsure
11. Were either of your parents quite often concerned about what other people, for example the neighbours, thought of them?
    Yes, No, Unsure
12. Did you go to boarding school?
    Yes, No, Unsure
13. When things go wrong do you tend to feel unappreciated?
    Yes, No, Unsure
14. When things go wrong do you tend to feel embarrassed?
    Yes, No, Unsure
15. Did you have a lot of responsibility, for example in looking after younger brothers or sisters, when you were growing up?
    Yes, No, Unsure
16. Do you tend to be nervously on the go most of the time and yet secretly know that having time on your hands would make you even more nervous?
    Yes, No, Unsure
17. Do you quite often feel nobody lets you be yourself?
    Yes, No, Unsure
18. When things go wrong do you tend to feel you can't be bothered trying any more?
    Yes, No, Unsure
19. In an emergency or difficult situation are you usually the one who stays calm and does what has to be done even if others panic?
    Yes, No, Unsure
20. When things go wrong do you tend to panic and feel you can't think straight?
    Yes, No, Unsure
21. Did either of your parents need a lot of looking after or special consideration when you were a child, for example through chronic illness or depression?
    Yes, No, Unsure
22. Are you a perfectionist?
    Yes, No, Unsure
23. Do you quite often feel worthless?
    Yes, No, Unsure
24. Do you compare yourself to other people a lot?
    Yes, No, Unsure
25. Are you generally a very pleasant person who has outbursts of sudden short-lived temper that take others and yourself quite by surprise?
    Yes, No, Unsure

Your Results

Be Perfect (Qs 2,4,6,22,23)
Be Strong: (Qs 9,12,13,15,19,21)
Please Me/You (Qs 1,11,14,17,25)
Try Hard (Qs 3,8,10,18,24)
Hurry Up (Qs 5,7,12,16,20)

The results show one point for each 'yes' answer and half a point for each unsure.
(Note: a 'yes' to question 12 scores one point for Be Strong and one point for Hurry Up.)

If you score 3 or more points in any category, this means that this type is a prominent part of your personality. Some people belong clearly to only one type and some people have all five types prominent in their personalities.
But people usually find that they belong mostly to two types.

Be Perfect

Be Perfect is the defence against the fear of death. He/she is dominant over all other personality types and is supremely righteous - both morally and factually - in his/her bid to out-control God (or the powers that be).

Be Perfect is the one who always (or never) steps on the lines of the pavement and always waits for her train on exactly the same spot on the platform, and double checks that the door is locked and all the gas taps off before she goes to bed. She is punctiliously reliable and dutiful. She is hypochondriacal and prone to high blood pressure. Her backlash is depression. She saves and makes time and money.

Be Perfect is legitimized in being well organized and in religious observance. Moderately expressed, it is the most honourable, constructive, healthy way to live. In extremis, it dives into the most hateful and destructive syndrome of bigotry, fanaticism, and murderous rage.

Be Strong

Be Strong is the defence against the fear of rejection. He/she is uninvolved, proudly self-sufficient, brave and stoical, and always considerate of others' needs above his own.

It is Be Strong who leads his men into battle, is marvellous in a crisis, gets on with things, goes for brisk walks, and rises at 6 a.m. to go for an early morning swim every day of the year. He never whines or complains, and (if a man) may wear a moustache to keep his upper lip hidden, just in case, despite his best efforts, it should slacken. He keeps himself healthy, but is inclined to circulatory diseases. His backlash is loneliness. He uses time and money.

Be Strong is legitimized in public service and in occupations that are on the receiving end of people's complaints. Moderately expressed, it is the most unselfish and sensitively considerate way to live. In extremis, it is cold, isolated autism.

Please Me/You

Please Me/You is the defence against the fear of responsibility. He/she is conventionally nice but sometimes very rude, obedient to win approval but also seeks to control others (through manipulation rather than overt dominance).

It is Please Me/You who helps blind men and old ladies across the road, contributes her bit to charity, sends all the people she knows birthday and Christmas cards, and is generally committed to doing the right thing. She enjoys socializing, and dressing and furnishing her home in as stylishly fashionable ways as she can afford. She is inclined to digestive disorders. Her backlash is being misunderstood and blamed. She fritters time and money.

Please Me/You is legitimized in hierarchical organizations in which people are both bosses and bossed, and in occupations in which a uniform is de rigeur Moderately expressed, it is the most civilized way to live. In extremis, it is shallow, smarmy inauthenticity.

Try Hard

Try Hard is the defence against the fear of failure. He/she is both aggressive and humbly submissive, persistent against the odds or resignedly unambitious.

Try Hard is deeply sympathetic to the cause of the underdog. He is an ardent and tireless worker for the political party, usually left-wing, or any other cause that he believes in, and he uses acerbic wit to deflate the pompous and smug. But in his own interests, despite his competitiveness, he lacks confidence, is forever procrastinating, and rarely fulfils his potential. He is inclined to stress-related illnesses. His backlash is feeling an inferior failure. He squanders time and money.

Try Hard is legitimized in occupations requiring patient repetition, or where servility and some authorized aggression are combined, such as in the army or police force. Moderately expressed, it is a bravely and unrelentingly determined way to live. In extremis, it is pugilistic, get-nowhere, resentful aggression.

Hurry Up

Hurry up is the defence against the fear of life. He/she is the least adapted of the personality types and is supremely needy of others to control its self-destructive propensities.

Hurry Up is lively, spontaneous and active. She has a devil-may-care attitude to most things and is ready to do anything that promises immediate excitement. She is eager to form new friendships and is extremely enthusiastic about any new person she meets who takes her fancy. But she is equally inclined to end any relationship hysterically and abtruptly as soon as the other fails to provide her with unconditional love. She is invariably late and very accident prone. Her backlash is alienation and futility. She kills time and loses money.

Hurry Up is legitimized in occupations involving speed, movement, and risk-taking. Moderately expressed, it is the most spirited, charming and adventurous attitude to life. In extremis, it is mania or paranoia.